How To Protect Yourself From Stalkers - Psychotherapy Crash Course
Stalking is a serious crime and a form of abuse. It hurts the best of us. Stalking doesn't choose race, ethnicity, class or socio-economic status, age, etc. It affects about 1.4 million of the population and between 20% to 30% of people have to seek counseling.
Males and females can be stalked but the highest percentage tends to be females (1 in 14 women) vs (1 in 50 men). Most stalking happens because of the power and control the stalker seeks. The rejection is far beyond what they can handle. And things get worse when you are dealing with a sociopath, narcissist, or dependent personality.
In this video, I will introduce ways to protect yourself from people who struggle with (or care less about) your boundaries. Stalkers try many different ways to manipulate and control you. So you need the knowledge to meet them with wise resistance.
How To Protect Yourself From Potential Stalkers
Former criminal prosecutor Loni Coombs, who helped prosecute Meg Ryan’s stalker, joins Megyn Kelly TODAY with important safety tips for women. She advises viewers to carry pepper spray, sit with their back to the wall in public places, walk with a friend when possible and to try to always be aware of their surroundings.
Navigating the end of an intimate relationship can be challenging under the best circumstances, but when a former partner crosses into stalking behavior, it adds a layer of complexity and danger. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being. Here’s a guide on how to protect yourself from a stalker who was once intimately involved with you.
1. Recognize the Signs
The first step in dealing with a stalker is recognizing the signs. Stalking behaviors may include excessive texting or calling, showing up unannounced at your home or work, monitoring your social media activities, or spreading rumors. Understanding these behaviors can help you identify if your former partner’s actions are crossing into stalking territory.
2. Establish Boundaries
Clearly and firmly communicate your boundaries to your ex. Let them know that you do not wish to have any further contact. It’s essential to be direct and specific about what behaviors you find unacceptable. Do this in writing (such as via email or text) to have a record of your communication. Avoid ambiguous language; be clear that you are not open to any form of contact.
3. Document Everything
Keep detailed records of all interactions with your stalker. Save copies of texts, emails, voicemails, and note down incidents such as unwanted visits or encounters. This documentation can be crucial if you need to involve law enforcement or seek a restraining order.
4. Involve Law Enforcement
If the stalking behavior escalates or if you feel threatened, do not hesitate to involve law enforcement. Provide them with your documentation and any evidence of harassment or threats. Law enforcement can offer guidance on legal options and, in some cases, may help you obtain a restraining order.
5. Enhance Your Personal Security
Take proactive steps to improve your personal security. This may include changing your phone number, updating your social media privacy settings, and possibly even changing your daily routines or locations. Consider installing security cameras or changing locks if the stalker has shown up at your home. Make sure friends and family are aware of the situation so they can offer support and help you stay safe.
6. Seek Legal Protection
A restraining order or protective order can legally prohibit your stalker from contacting you or coming near you. Consult with an attorney to understand the legal options available to you and to help you navigate the process of obtaining such orders. Having legal protection can provide both physical safety and peace of mind.
7. Focus on Your Support Network
Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can offer emotional and practical support. Having a support network can help you feel less isolated and more empowered. Additionally, professional counseling or therapy can be beneficial in dealing with the emotional impact of stalking and helping you develop coping strategies.
8. Be Prepared for Different Scenarios
Think ahead about potential scenarios and develop a safety plan. This might include knowing where to go in an emergency, having a list of emergency contacts, and establishing a way to quickly alert authorities if needed. Being prepared can help you feel more in control and less anxious.
9. Take Care of Yourself
Finally, prioritize your mental and physical well-being. The stress and fear associated with stalking can take a toll on your health. Engage in activities that help you relax and maintain a positive outlook. Seeking professional help for any anxiety or trauma is also important for your overall well-being.
Conclusion
Dealing with a stalker, especially one you’ve been intimately involved with, can be deeply unsettling. By recognizing the signs, setting boundaries, documenting interactions, involving law enforcement, and focusing on your personal security and support network, you can protect yourself and regain control of your life. Remember, you have the right to feel safe and secure, and there are resources and strategies available to help you navigate this challenging situation.
